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Tuesday, March 27, 2007
I'm not in the mood to blog today. I'm sooooo stressed out. My sister left for the US. I really miss her. *sigh*
I just found out that my classmates were mad at me again. Can't they understand me? I'm sick and tired of this. I hate money. Even if it's a necessity, I hate it. If my life would be like this because of money, I'd rather die.
argh. I'm really not in the mood today. I'll just update you guys next time. Sorry. :(
*sigh* The title says it all. I really feel so alone. I feel that nobody cares for me. Even my bestfriend, I feel like we're not bestfriends anymore. Eversince that resectioning thingy, I'm having a hard time reaching out to her. As what I have observed, I think she has a new "bestfriend". I'm not used to being so alone.
Presently, everything has changed, particularly in my life. Before, I never walk around campus alone, except going to the girl's room and going home. Everyday, I walk with my friends. But only this school year, I'm having a hard time coping up with my social life. I would usually be "Out of Place" with my friends. I can't relate to what they're talking about. Sometimes, they talk about something and they don't share it with me. I often wonder why they do that. I'm not a "blubber-mouth" like others. Although I admit that sometimes I tell others some secrets. As if I just tell those to anybody. I share it with the people I trust. And I'm sure about these people that they won't tell anyone.
Darn! I hate it when I'm down and nobody's there to comfort me. Right now, I wanna walk in the rain (although it's not raining at this moment). I wanna cry as hard as I can and find the person who could see the tears that fall from my eyes. I wanna release all the pain and hurt that's here in my heart and find the person who would share the pain with me. I wanna shout at the top of my lungs and find out who could hear me. Someday, somehow, I'll find these people.
can't think of a title.. just read this, if you like..
My brothers and sister had read my blog. I would like to apologize for the bad things I had said. I was really upset that's why I said those things. Anyway, we're okay right now. I just hope this would last for a long time.
I'm in Manila right now. We had just arrived early this morning. I'm quite sleepy at this moment. As soon as we arrived, we directly went to Oven Maid - Tita Lut's (?) bakeshop. I ate a lot there. hehe. :D
After that, we went to our condominium, unpacked our things and off we go again. We went first to my sister's dentist. Then, we went to Divisoria. When we got there, I just remembered that I had my period today. I checked if I had ... (you know what I mean). Unfortunately, I had. Bad luck for me. So, I decided to go home. I told my mom and my sister about it. They let my brother come with me since I can't manage myself here. My brother's been teasing me as a "Plan Destroyer". He called me that because I had been "destroying" some plans of the family because of some matter which I'm lazy to discuss.
hmm. What else?
I guess that would be all for now. I'll update later or tomorrow. Anyway it's still five in the afternoon here. There's more to come.
*sigh* I really don't know what to do. It seems like everytime, everyday, everywhere, pressure's after me. I just don't know what to do. In evrything that I do there's something bad that will happen, no matter how hard I try to prevent it.
argh. Why does life have to be so cruel? It's like the harder I try to make things right, the more it kills me. I just can't take it anymore. I'm so weak right now. Soooooooo goddamn weak.
I feel like I'm drowning with problems. One problem comes after another. I'm having a hard time catching up. Probably, my classmates are angry at me right now. I'm supposed to be at school right now. But I'm here at home, blogging, since my dad did not let me go out right now. argh. I'm so pissed off. he's the worst dad anyone could have!
Could please someone help me?! I can't take this anymore. I wanna die!*sigh*
Our final exams had just begun. I'm really really really really nervous about it. My life depends on the results. But anyway, the exams today are okay. Not so hard, not so easy, just average. Good thing I passed Biology2. I'm kinda relieved with that.
gotta go. I must study. I'll update you guys again. :D
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Mara. 111191. 16. Senior. pisay-evc. iskolar ng bayan. neutron. violinist. vocalist. musikera. lakwastera. jack of all trades a master of none. frustrated. happy. sensitive. vain. cam adiktus. crybaby. not-so-responsible. corny. couch potato. tv junkie. movie addict. text addict. chocolate lover. EMO. PUNK. ROCKER.
HOW AM I FEELING TODAY?
family. friends. crushes. food. movies. texting. having fun. surfing. music. and most of all, MYSELF!